“The more I grow, the more I realize that my mom is my best of my bestest friend I ever had… She who always told me to go out to play & live my dreams.”Xjilien Tan, Dolomiti Alta Via 1 (2016)
After much convincing from Dad, I am finally taking a break at my home “away from home.” A home I’ve never been before. Apparently I have a home “away from home.” I welcome this break. I realized I need at least 1 day of Me time per week to be a happy girl. Unfortunately, everyone’s flight was delayed last night & only got in just before midnight.
Last night’s conversation before bedtime while enjoying our usual family night cap (without the owl) was about family matters & life. Like why Dad got us “a home away from home” as if we don’t already live in paradise. I’m the ultimate lucky one because I have 2 & now 3 beautiful island homes. I think 1 of things that make me a very happy person most days is because I am also OK to have nothing & life is short. That’s what sailing & mountaineering taught me. Those days where I only have 3 pairs of clothing, my gear and nothing else. I fight a mental game against my own inner demons, celebrate with my angels & cherish all moments with all beings around me. Therefore, I count my blessings every day & make my blessings count.
Dad joked about his hire car & “Oh shit, I can no longer do car hire after 65 yrs old” remark. I chipped in & said the next thing he’ll have trouble with is travel insurance. Insurance premiums for senior citizens double & triple in price as you get older. The number of insurance companies willing to insure senior citizens is probably half the number of regular travel insurance, too. And then suddenly Mom went “Oh GOSH… my Nepal trips!!”,,,, YEP!
There we go, time is ticking…. It was my dream to take her to achieve her dream to trek the 3 Passes (Kongma La, Cho La & Renjo La) for her 60th Birthday. Now wish to have 1 more climb with my mom before she gets too old & make it to my dream. I wish that she’d hike with me till base camp & see me off to climb the summit of my dreams or wait for me at base camp upon my return. I don’t know when but there is a plan and time is ticking.
Mountain Mama has always been my strength – my emotional & spiritual rock in my heart. Our relationship is so pure that we truly have no secrets between us. We understand each other like no other even though it has taken a lot of years, tears & heartache to be in this wonderful state. I haven’t been the easiest & simplest child in the family. And I’m glad she has always believed in my greater strength than my weaknesses. She never gave up loving & nurturing me even when times were dark & angry but continued to hold my hand & encourage to find my passions, play to my strengths & enjoy the ride till the sun shines through my soul again. She’s always my anchor in this stormy seas of life.
That is who she is to me but that’s not just it… She is also mama to my siblings & mama to all other beings in all shapes, forms & sizes… the furries, the featheries, the leafies & the children in China, Laos, Vietnam & Cambodia. I think she is loved by 99% of everything & everyone she walks past as if she has the word MAMA written in BOLD on her forehead & leaves a trail of Mommy Magic all over.
When she does things, she never thinks it is crazy. She is oblivious & immune to what other people think or say. She has no fear but crystal clear of her intention that is always from her heart. It is always crazy until it is done. Sometimes she is being perceived as reckless, irresponsible… how ever, what ever people want to describe those situations… but, these are just commentaries from observers. Commentaries & critiques don’t make things happen, actions do and she’s saved a life when people in normal circumstances would not have taken up the responsibility or would have given up with the initial thought of “oh that’s mission impossible especially being a foreigner in China!” How many people have you met who has literally saved a life & given someone a brighter future?
Never once did we have an awful adventure together or fought like there’s no tomorrow. When she parties, she parties like a wild animal till the sunrises. The best memory was in Barcelona where she refused to leave the club, Luz de Gas at 5am because “WHY??? It’s SOOOO FUNNNN!!!!” (but yes Mom, we have a 10am train to catch!). The insane beer pyramid we used to build in Nepal after each adventure. The lady who always carry a pair of champagne flutes (glass!!!) wrapped in socks & a bottle of champagne otherwise a pair of wine glasses & a bottle of wine in her bag even if she’s travelling alone. Her philosophy is it is much more enjoyable when shared.
I knew at some point, Mommy & Daughter adventure will come to an end as I move to climbing in stead of trekking & bigger dreams. It’s been proven to be challenging last year, then this year again for different reasons. Luckily both were not health related. Therefore, not all hope is lost since there is still fire in the dream. Maybe 2020. On a more positive note, her baby bird has learned to fly & soared past many peaks & high seas & shall continue to soar higher & higher till she touches the sky… ❤